Reflection
by Ashley A
Summary: Set after BTVS season 3 episode "Enemies". A night at the Bronze; some sage advice.


Author's note:  set sometime shortly after the events of the BTVS season three episode "Enemies."

Disclaimer:  Don't own nobody.  So don't sue!

Rating:  PG

Feedback is greatly appreciated and loved.

Thanks to Dana for the wonderful song from one of my favorite bands.

Enjoy.

            Oz enters the Bronze; strolling his usual stroll and looking for his girlfriend.  His new, but not new girlfriend.  It feels a little weird to him, but he's so very glad to have it be that way.  

            He's not very "out with the feelings" as Buffy would say.  He is quiet, circumspect, almost austere like in his bearing.  But inside, he's like any other person; he feels pain, anger, sorrow, happiness, and love just as strong as any other human.

            Or monster.

            He just doesn't show it.  Except to one person.  And that one person is nowhere to be seen just yet.

            Oz doesn't sweat it.  Willow sometimes forgets where she is when she's with the gang, or especially with Buffy.  She'll show.  He's sure of it.

            He takes a seat on one of the couches tucked away in the corner, a small luxury that they're actually currently people-free.

            "How's it going, Angel?"  Oz asks quietly, and the vampire replies.

            "Didn't know you could see me."

            "Couldn't.  But I can smell you.  It's close to full moon time."

            Angel nods.  "I'm decent.  You?"

            "I'm of the good.  You waiting for Buffy?"

            "She said she might show.  Where's Willow?"

            "Presumably with the aformentioned Slayer.  But she'll be here."

            Silence decends.  The two men pass the time differently; one bobbing his head slightly to the music, and the other staring into the dark club, watching the door like a cat watches for that one mouse it just can't seem to catch.

            "Heard any new news about Faith?" Angel suddenly breaks the silence.  "Or the Mayor?"

            Oz shakes his head.  "Not as of late.  But we're sure something will turn up soon.  The Slayer patrol is in full swing…has Buffy not told you this?"

            Now it's the vampires' turn to shake his head.  Oz notices the other man has deep purple bruises under his eyes, and widens his gaze.

            "What happened?" Oz asks, pointing to Angel's face.

            "Tried to get some info for Buffy.  The informant didn't want to give it up."

            "…and the result was?"

            "He gave it up."

            "Ah."

            More silence.

            Oz gets to his feet, deciding a coffee is in order while waiting for Willow.  As he begins to walk toward the serving counter, Angel speaks.

            "Oz," he says, and the blond man turns, eyebrows raised.

            "Is she alright?"

            Oz shrugs.  "As alright as can be, I guess.  She doesn't honestly say much about you."

            Angel's head dips toward the floor, and Oz is sorry he's the one that had to tell the other man that.  Buffy was obviously not around too much right now.

            "I feel like last year was a dream.  A whole series of them.  There were so many good ones, I knew the bad ones just had to start coming.  And of course, no such luck, _these_ dreams, they pass me by.  The good ones that is.  Now.  I only seem to remember, to relive, the bad ones," Angel states, and Oz just stands, listening.  He's good at that.

            "I know she feels the same.  Since I…came back, our lives have been one long series of dreams that start the same, and we know how they're gonna end, but we can't seem to wake ourselves.

            "This life we're living?  It's a farce.  A complete and total meltdown.  And I can't seem to let her go.  I have to.  But I can't."

            Oz nods sagely, almost imperceptibly.

            "I get you, Angel.  But I just have one question."

            The vampire looks up from where he's been studying his nails, avoiding Oz's gaze while he had been talking.

            "Do you love her?"

            "Yes," comes the answer with no pause.

            "Then don't do what you're doing to each other.  Talk to her.  Tell her what you just told me.  She won't get it; she won't be able to even guess it.  She acts the same around us, but we know she's not the same.  That act with Faith wasn't easy on her, Angel.  It was in fact one of the hardest things I think she's ever had to go through.  I can see her trying not to breathe, nowdays.  Or forgetting to.  Because all I see in her mind, in her eyes, is you.  And sometimes she forgets to be here because your soul fills her up so much she doesn't realize the rest of us are still standing around her.  We talk, we eat, we joke, but we don't see our reflections in her eyes when we get close.  We see yours."

            Angel just stares at Oz, not sure he's ever heard the young man say so much at one time.  Ever.  Moisture threatens to spill from his eyes, and he turns his head away finally, not wanting Oz to see he's been moved to tears by the other's simple speech.

            Oz opens his mouth once more.  "I'm gonna get a coffee for me and Willow, who I now see has arrived with yon Slayer," he states plainly.

            Angel nods, and Oz heads for the bar, and for the two girls who have joined the service line.

            "Hey, guys," he says, coming up behind Willow, and kissing her jaw.  She turns to him, and smiles a 100 watt smile, and kisses him back.  

            "Oz, Hey," she says, and he's happy again.

            He smiles at Buffy as well, and she smiles back at him, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

            "Your black clad friend is over on the corner couch.  Maybe you should go say hi," Oz tells her, and her expression changes from one of flatness to one of hope, then just as quickly sadness.

            "Oh, maybe later.  I'm here with you guys, and it would be extremely heinous of me to dump my dates," Buffy quips, trying to be her old self.  Oz smiles at her joke, and grabs their coffees, handing Buffy two of them.

            "On me.  For you and him."

            She sighs, and deflates somewhat. 

            "I can't do it," she whispers.

            "You can," Oz says.

            She looks at him, and just a suddenly leans forward and kisses his cheek.  

            Looking at both of her friends, she speaks.

            "I love you guys, you know that, right?"

            Willow hugs her, and says, "We know."

            Oz just nods, and pats her shoulder, pushing her a little in the direction of the corner of the club.  

            Buffy heads that way, and as Willow and Oz take a seat at one of the round tables scattered throughout the Bronze, they see Angel stand, and take one of the proffered coffee drinks.  They watch as the Slayer sits next to the vampire, awkwardly trying to balance her cup and talk at the same time.

            Willow turns back to her boyfriend.

            "That was a nice thing you did just then."

            Oz shrugs.  "I'm a nice guy."

            Willow laughs, and he takes her hand and brings it to his lips.  

            She winks at him, then jumps up, running quickly back to the counter for sugar and more cookies for the coffee.

            Oz's gaze turns once more to the couple in the corner, who are now sitting closer.  He can't make out too much in the dark, but it looks as if a blond head rests next to the dark head.  He smiles.

            "Breathe on, sister, breathe on," he whispers to himself, and hopes that she can.

Fin.

It's a Fire"

by Portishead 

It's a fire   
These dreams they pass me by   
This salvation I desire   
Keeps getting me down   
Cos we need to   
Recognise mistakes   
For time and again   
So let it be known for what we believe in   
I can see no reason for it to fail.... ...   
Cos this life is a farce   
I can't breathe through this mask   
Like a fool   
So breathe on, sister breathe on   
   
From this oneself   
Testify or tell   
Its fooling us now   
So let it be known for what we believe in   
I can see no reason for it to fail...   
Cos this life is a farce   
I can't breathe through this mask   
Like a fool   
So breathe on, little sister, breathe on   
Ohh so breathe on, little sister, like a fool


End file.
